


Frisk does not know when to stop

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale
Genre: Chara is a girl, Emo Chara, Frisk and Chara are 11, Frisk is a girl, Goat mom, M/M, Mostly a dump for my shitpost worthy ideas, Mostly unrelated fontcest stories, Perv Frisk, Rating Might Change, Sinnamon roll Paps, asgore - Freeform, sorry if this is bad it's my first fic, undyne and alphys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unrealted Fontcest stories ,I wanted this to be a romantic comedy.Sorry if this is utter trash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sex puns are best puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muffins go great with some Sunny D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this idea from PbJelly's tumblr comic about Sans the gym teacher!

Frisk had just finished changing into her gym  
clothes when she overheard two students talking about how their regular coach was absent.Who was the regular coach?Undyne,of course.Who else would it be?

Had the fish gone home early?That was a shocker,even if she had the worst flu;she would still be coaching.Frisk spotted Chara from the crowd and went over to talk to her.  
“Char,do you know what happened to Undyne?”Chara nodded,”Oh, remember when you told her to go watch Boku No Pico?Well….she went home early to go watch it.”  
The fontcest shipper beamed proudly,”I wish I  
could be there to see that!I would post her reaction on YouTube and make loads of uTuBe cASh!”The voice of reason mumbled,”Sometimes I wonder if you’re speaking English or not.”

“Who is gonna be the sub?”,wondered Frisk out loud.Knowing fan fiction cliches,it HAS to be someone she knows,right?Hm,Papyrus?No,too innocent.Alphys?Too anti-social.Goat mom?Asgore?Nope,too nice.Which leave us with……...wait.No.No no no no no noooooo.

“hey, kids n’ kiddos…”  
“i’m the sub coach for today,and i say we play…...dodgeball!”The time has come.Frisk knows her destiny,to troll Sans with sex puns  
about him and Papyrus,although there is no wind in the gym;her hair was blowing in the wind.”Oh Sansy~”Sans looked at her,”you’re in this period,kiddo?”Frisk nodded.”Hey Sans,I can tell by your attitude-you and Papyrus BONED last night.”

The whole room went dead quiet,no sound at all.Sans looked at her,and Frisk looked at him.Chara was over in the corner writing Frisk will for her,while face palming.The coach and girl knew there would be a battle.

“do you have a death wish kid?”,said Sans,whose pupils completely disappeared.  
Frisk gave a large smile,”Yes, yes I do.”Sans smirked,”well than…...let the battle began.”His right eye socket lit up blue,using his magick to lift up about two dozen dodgeballs so fast all the other kids(besides Chara)could not dodge.Frisk uses ACT,she selects BAD SEX PUN.The pun was about Paps muffin,and how Sans must frost it.

 

Sans throws 3 balls in Frisks direction,she dodges all of them.The girl made another joke,this one about how much Sans wants Paps sunny-D.She ducked all 4 balls in her way.Frisk decided to not just sit there and take it.”Sans!I’ll face you HEAD on……..said Papyru-SMACK!Gameover-Frisk DETERMINATION was not strong enough.

 

But a new hero rises.And her name was Chara.Sans stared at her,”you wanna go char?”Chara did a single nod.”well than,y o u r e g o n n a h a v e a b a d t i m e.”The black hair girl threw a lightning fast dodgeball,but Sans teleported. 

Frisk had an idea!The pun was too bad to say in words,but it has the word condom in it.When the coach turned around,the hero hit him right in the back of the skull.He fell down next to Frisk. Sans sputtered,”GG Char,GG.”

The battle was won,but the war was not over.


	2. Popsicles are great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never trust anything Frisk tells you.

  
Frisk slipped into her flip-flops and grabbed her walkie-talkie.Earlier before they headed to the beach,Papyrus had questioned her about something called “innuendos”.He asked what this was as he heard Undyne talk about this topic with Alphys.She,of course,replied with”Something you should do to Sans.”Frisk handed Papyrus a walkie-talkie and told him to talk to her with it once they got to the beach .

  
Chara and Frisk were hiding in the bushes about 5 yards away from Sans and Papyrus when Frisk called the tall skeleton on the walkie-talkie.  
“Testing testing,1 2 3.Papyrus,do you come in?”  
“PAPYRUS COMING IN,HUMAN!”  
Frisk smirked.  
“Okay now Papyrus ,I want you to do EXACTLY what I say.And don't question on what I say,k?”  
OKAY HUMAN.”  
“The first thing I want you to do is………...buy a blue popsicle from the nice cream guy .”  
“..............”  
“What is it Paps?”  
“IS THIS IN ANYWAY POSSIBLY LEWD?  
“What?!?No,of course not……”  
“OKAY THEN HUMAN!”

Chara seemed very sceptical about this entire prank.”Frisk,do you remember the LAST TIME we tried something like this?”  
Frisk replied with,”Oh yeah ,we got ‘dunked on.’”Chara sighed,”You're going to do it anyway, right?”  
“You know me so well,Char.”  
“If Sans finds out you die first.”  
“Worth it.”

  
“Papyrus have you purchased the popsicle?”  
“YES HUMAN.”  
“Now I want you to lick it …….very……...slowly…….in front of Sans.”  
“OKAY?”  
“Good job,I want you to do it this for the rest of the time we are here.”

SANS POV

Sans can say proudly he is very hard to be able to surprise.He has been through countless resets,so he has seen pretty much every outcome.But this.Not in a million years could he ever see this happening.So as he sits in a beach chair,relaxing -he sees Papyrus.Oh but noooo,not just Papyrus;he saw Papyrus giving a blowjob to a popsicle.A blue popsicle at that,the color of his member and soul.

Sans knew Papyrus was a bit navie,but there is no way Paps did not know what he was doing.Hell,he was licking it right in front of him! Sans’ thoughts stumbled to something very,very lewd.He thought of Papyrus doing that to his member,him slowing licking it -teasing him.Control yourself Sans,Christ -there are children here.

This went on for about another 10 minutes,it was most likely that Sans’ face looked very aroused.Papyrus just finished the popsicle,thank god.Sans sighed to himself,it was over…..

Or so he thought.Just Sans was starting to relax again Papyrus gets another blue popsicle.Papyrus totally knows what he's doing,he thought to himself.Sans can't take this anymore,any longer and he is sure he'll explode .  
“paps?”  
“YES SANS?”  
“what are y-you,what are you doing?”  
“JUST EATING A POPSICLE,BROTHER!”  
“.................”  
“IS SOMETHING THE MATTER SANS?”  
“i guess you could say that…..”  
“Tell me Sans,do you want anything?”  
That sent shivers down his spine,Paps never said something in that that tone before-it was extremely pleasing to the ear.  
“bro,can we head to the hotel f-for a bit?”  
“But of course Sans.”

  
Sans had just finished locking the door to their hotel room when Papyrus started taking off his clothes.”you knew what you were doing all along ,didn't you?”  
“I JUST DID WHAT THE HUMANS TOLD ME TO DO!”  
“heh,is that so?”  
Sans will get his revenge later on.  
“if you actually didn't know what was happening,i’ll show you what you did to me.”  
Although Papyrus was taller than Sans,the shorter skeleton pinned him down with ease.  
“hold tight paps,’cause you're about to have one hell of a ride.”

Frisk pov  
Frisk and Chara woke up from their respective hotel beds.  
“Frisk?”  
Frisk yawned,”Yeah Char?”  
“When Sans and Papyrus went to their room,they never came out.”  
“.........”  
“You know what that means?”  
“Aw yeAh!Papyrus got some!”  
Chara snorted,”Very mature Frisk.”  
The young pervert went to check her phone when she saw a text from Sans.

From:SANS  
hey kiddo,i wanted to thank you for telling paps to get a popsicle ,we had a lot of fun;)  
oh but don't worry-you're not getting away with this ...

“Chara?”  
“Yes?”  
“Sans found out.”  
“...........”  
Frisk trembled,”Well at least it can't be as bad as ‘getting dunked on’,right?”  
“What I said from earlier still stands,you die first.”  
“Still was worth it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating because I'm paranoid,also the next chapter will exclusively have Sans and Papyrus.


	3. Heavens lost Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paps does not like boobs

Papyrus and Sans had invited the kids for a anime sleepover,why were Undyne and Alphys not there?After the former Royal Guard watched Boku No Pico,she went on a rampage and broke Jerry’s car.Freaking Jerry.

 

But this wasn't ANY anime sleepover-because they were watching Heavens Lost Property!(If you don't know what that is,it has dirty jokes,boobs,and panties )Poor innocent Papaya had never seen something of that lewdness before!Frisk would murder Jerry just to see his reaction!

Frisk held the remote in hand and turned on Netflix - her username was blueberry and orange muffins,of course.Sans was the first one to come in,with a light blue shirt that read “bad to the bone”.The skeleton yawned,”what we watchin’ tonight kiddo?”Frisk smirked,”It's a surprise ~”The next one to show up was Chara,a simple green nightgown with a look of disgust on her face.The little perv told Chara her master plan.Last but not least was  
the victim himself,Pappy!He wore a long sleeve orange shirt that said “Cool Dude”.Frisk knew it was time.”The 6th grader typed in Heavens Lost Property and clicked play.

 

………………

Ten minutes into the first episode and poor Papaya was already in the corner.Frisk and Sans were on the ground,laughing hysterically.Chara was checking up on Paps to make sure he was okay.This process repeated itself until season 1 was finished ,that was when Chara said it was about time to go to sleep.By some miracle Sans got Papyrus to go to their bed and out of the corner.

 

………………….

 

“Sans?”,whispered Papyrus.Sans leaned over to get a better look of his lover.”yeah paps?”  
The traumatized skeleton whimpered,”I don't think I'll come back from that…...that show”  
Sans sighed,”don't worry paps,you can get over anything ,right ?”Being reassured was all Paps needed to spring back up.”NYEH HEH HEH!I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT SANS,THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN COME BACK FROM ANYTHING!” Pap landed a soft skeleton kiss on Sans’ forehead. 

"Awwwww,I thought they were gonna fUcK!”,whined Frisk;who was watching them the entire time.Slowly,the two skeletons looked over at the girl with embarrassed faces.”What's wrong?I like watching you guys sleep!”

 

Frisk was never allowed into their room ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Left it off with creeper Frisk!also I'm thinking of making a fic that's basically the story of Frisk journey in the Underground,but with MY version of her.The troll perv version!Should I?IDK


	4. FILLER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got bored writing my new fic and wrote this in less than 10 minutes .

Sans came home from work when he saw Papyru with afake yummy sunny Delight.This,of course,was very awkwad..

“FacK boy ”,shouted da Helvetica ripoff.The older brother was embarrassed beyond two souls belief,”yeaaaaaaah?”The younger is the two homobros was confuzzeldd,”WHAT IS Dis STRANGE OBJECT?!?”It was then Sans tried to run away,but Spooky scary skeleton was too fast like SANIC .”NYEH HEH!YOU CAN’T ESCAPE FROM THE GREAT PAPYRU-ONII CHAN DESUU!”In emo Sans’ head WAKE ME UP INSIDE was playing on replayydu.

  
“IS TDiS ORANGE THING YOURS BROoKill me)THER?”Hoe do u tell a fuackin10 feet tall skelhomo dat youfap with a faked Diguh”yeh.”Pinesberry beamed,”I’M FLATTERED THAT YOU PLEASUR YOURSELFff WITH A FAKE OF MY GIAGTIC DICKK.pepper  
Spray knows more than Comic sAns originally thought.

Paps took off Sans’ jacket and shorts ;).sans,”p-paps,what are you doing?!?”Papyrus spoke with,”I wana try out dis dildo with y-

  
SMACK

 

Frisk rubbed the back of her head and whined,”Hey!What was that for!”Chara glared the writer with disappointment.”What.The.Hell.Are.You.Doing.The injured girl replied with,”Making a fontcest crack fanfic,duh.”Chara sighed,”one day I'll see you do some dumb shit and murder you painfully.”Frisk knew that day would be soon,”My last word would be ‘quickscope’.”

  
Frisk got a black eye that day,69th of the 420th month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making a new fic!I'll probably post the first chapter later this week.(also as I'm typing this my battery is at 69%)


	5. Only Paps can solve Sans' Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Sans so thirsty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOLB!*flips table*People actually like my poorly written humor?!?THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO READ THIS!

Frisk sighed,she lifted up her pencil to put the  
final touches to her will.But you might ask -while in your underpants, because we all know you don't wear your pants at home sweetheart-why is a girl so young writing her will so early?Well,it has to do with a robot with unrequited love for a fabulous skeleton,said fabulous skeleton,and a thirsty as hell Sans.

____________________________

  
Frisk was eating breakfast with Chara when she had the best idea known to man.Just as she was about to open her mouth,Chara read her mind,”I swear to GOD Frisk,if you say anything pervert related-I WILL cut you down with my butter knife.”For extra effect, the knife collector lifted her knife from her pancakes and pointed it to her victim.”Fine than!Your lost of my BRILLIANCE!”Frisk went back to eating her Fruitloops.What was her amazing plan?A few days ago on Mettaton’s  
show,he had called her pervert!Yes,anybody that knows her knows she is a massive creep-but this was national television!So she thought of a revenge plan,she must become the thing every star hates,TMZ!She knows that Metta has a crush on Paps,so she'll post a quiz on who he likes(hint:all of the answer choices are Pap).

  
After milk and cereal,cereal and milk- Frisk logged into her Apple computer(please Apple sponsor her)she posted on Faceboobs,Twieeter,Tumfur ,and etc.,the quiz.  
Frisk hopes her favourite Papua sees this first.

  
______________________

 

Mettaton knocked down the door,(what is it with people knocking down Frisks door?)looking very embarrassed.”Frisk!”,he shouted.The new member of TMZ smirked,”Oh,didja see the post,Metta?”The robot in question was pacing around the room,”While I hate the fact you exposed my crush for Papyrus,I'm here in hiding because Sans is hunting me down as we speak!”Frisk picked up her and texted Sans.

  
TO:SANS  
hey Sansy~Metta is over here  
FROM:SANS  
thanks kiddo

  
Frisk watched Mettaton for a bit when Papyrus was at her-now broken-door.”HUMAN I NEED TO SP-”,Paps saw Metta and almost immediately jumped out of Frisks window.”Oh dear god is he going to be okay?”,questioned the robot.”Pap has jumped out windows before,he'll be fine,”replied Frisk.  
Just then Sans appeared at the door.”Heh heh,hey Metta.”This was some next level pro shit right here,Sans had said a CAPITAL LETTER,he never did that!Sans’ victim ran out of the house followed closely by a butthurt Sans.Frisk wondered if Sans would kill the star-ehh screw it she doesn't care.

________________

Frisk knows what you're thinking-”WTF Frusk that didn't explain anything.”Well,she'll do that right now.What was all that middle part for?Frisk just loves wasting your time,duh.When Chara finds out about all this-she is going to murder Frisk.It’s very sad,Chara will never be on Frisks’ MLG pro NOSCOPE level-so here she sits,eating her last bag of Doritos and drinking her last Mountain Dew.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Frosted Flakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this in a while!Also,I got this idea from the Odd1'sout comic based on Tomskas "The Hole".I recommend checking out the video before reading this!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6275218  
> Also this

Papyrus just wanted to get FrostedFlakes. But nooooooo, this has to happen every single week like clockwork. Paps woke up to a hole in the middle of the house. The younger brother gulped,”Sans….why is there a hole in our house?”

Sans took a sip of his coffee,”well paprika,i woke up this morning to find my copy of the greatest movie ever, jack and jill, and there was a hole.”

Pappy then tried to exit the building.Sans ran, wait no,speed walked-over to his brother.”I can't do this anymore Sans,too much of this weirdness-I quit.I’m so done.”

The older brother sighed,”sorry paps,but if you're gonna act out of character like that,someone is going to comment about that in the comments .”

Papyrus agreed,”Well….I would rather not have any of those comments,very well brother! Anyway, where is Frisk, Sans?”

“...................................”

Papyrus said with his hands over his face,”I SWEAR TO GOD SANS IF YOU SAY THAT SHE FELL DOWN THE HOLE SOMEONE WILL BE PUT ON THE TONIGHT SHOW AND IT WILL NOT BE ME AND-”Paps smelled the air,”Sans is that weed I smell?”

Sans took another sip of his coffee,”Oh yeah-before i pushed the kid down the hole-they had 420 pounds of marijuana on them.”

Papyrus was confused,to say least,”Sans,how did a eleven year old sixth grader get ahold of class B drugs?”

Sans threw the coffee mug down the hole, “that is a very long story,paps.let's just say that it has to do with likes,a fnaf foxy lover, and memes.”

“How are you not more worried about this Sans?!?”

Sans opened a bag of Cool Ranch Diritos,”to be honest,i’m more worried about when adsf movie ten is going to come out.”

“Wha-never mind that.Where is my FrostedFlakes,Sans?”

Sans gulped,”it fell down the hole.”

_____________________

  
That was the last we saw of Sans the skeleton;some say Papyrus pushed him down the hole-others say the space octopus finally got him.I guess we'll never know.

  
  



	7. Don't blame me,blame the vodka I gave you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dat drunk pappy tho

Frisk knows she is the anti-christ .She knows if she gives this Vodka to Papyrus she will be asking for a death wish. But ya know what reader? She doesn't give a fuck anymore. She can just respawn from the last save point,so might as well say “fuck da morals” and do it anyway.

Satan 2.0 edition walks over to Peppermint to do part one of her plan.”Hey Paps, are ya thirsty? I have some Vod- I mean semen colored-I mean I have some…..’water’.”

Papyrus had a sceptical look on his face,”HUMAN,ARE YOU WHAT YOU CALL,’TROLLING’,ME RIGHT NOW?”

“What? No Pap, i’m just doing a random act of assh-I mean kindness,yeah….. kindness.”

The oblivious skeleton smiled,”WELL,I GUESS IT COULD NOT HURT TO TAKE A GIFT,I AM A BIT THIRSTY NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT HUMAN!”

“thirsty for Sans’ dick…”

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

“Oh,nothing at all!” 

Frisk hands Papyrus the Vodka, knowimg what will happen.

________________

Papyrus grabbed onto Sans’ jacket, gripping on it like his life depended on it.

“Sans~”

The small skeleton turned around,shocked by that tone of voice.”bro,are you ok?”

“Sans,S-Sans!”

“what is it pap?”

“Fuck y-you.”

Sans’ soul broke apart,not believing in what his brother just said.

“Fuck you Sans,g-go eat shit.”

Frisk walked into the room,beaming with joy,”Oh poor Sansy just got DUNKED ON!”

The heartbroken pun lover looked over at the girl,”you did this,didn't you?”

Frisk almost couldn't hold back her smile,”When did I ever do something that harm another person for the hell of it-don't answer that.”

Chara broke down the door,”FRISK!!”

The troll looked at Chara,her face froze.

“FRISK,THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU DO SOME CRAZY PERVERT SHIT!”

Chara held a real knife,smiling like a serial killer.

Frisk then ran out of the house.Sans sighed,”i do love me some karma.”He turned around to look at Paps.

“are you still drunk pappy?”

“I AM THE KING OF MEMESS!!!”

“I take that as a yes.”


	8. THEY HAVE A FUCKING FAN CLUB NOW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The god damn fan club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted the first two chapters as I was not pleased with them,anyway enjoy this~

“WE HAVE A WHAT NOW ?”

Frisk pounded her fist against the table,shouting,”You have a GOD DAMN fan club!”

Sans wanted to scream out loud and run for the heavens, Papyrus on the other hand,just wanted to know what this all meant.

“HUMAN…….WHAT IS A ‘FAN CLUB’?”

Frisk just laughed and said,”Why,It's the next best thing to ecto-dicks!”

“YOU’RE MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, FRISK ..”

Sans glared as Frisk with such intensity that she backed up a bit,”Exactly Papyrus,but   
that's besides the point-”

The fan-service lover let a out a breath,”The fan club and I decided that the world needs more porn of you two! I can just leave a camera here; you take it to the bonezone,we upload that shit to pornhub and make millions!”

Although as a skeleton he doesn't have ears,Sans still tried to protect Papyrus’

“What is it? You fuckers are pretty loud when you go and do each other, I can hear that crap from five miles away!”

Papyrus clanked his teeth together,”FRISK,COULD YOU KINDLY NOT CURSE SO MUCH?”

Frisk shook her head,”N-no can do Pappy! I just had three fuAking caffeine pills and I'm still crazy about this fan club! Also, do you guys want body pillows? C-cuz the club made some.”

Sans frowned,”what is wrong with you kid?”

The human just laughed,”You know e-exactly what's wrong with me S-Sans! We are already in the 7th circle of hell and I'm still going to make you guys screw one another! Also-do you still want those body pillows? I know you both would fap to that kinda stuff !”

Sans once again glared at Frisk,”get out.”

Frisk huffed,”Ugh fine,but seriously tho do you w-want some body pillows?”

The short skeleton sighed,”no-we don't want an-”

Before he could finish his sentence;Papyrus interrupted him,”OH YES PLEASE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD LOVE ANOTHER PILLOW FOR SLEEP!”

As Frisk left the homo skeletons house,Papyrus went to google what was a body pillow as he didn't know why it had the word body in it as Sans tried desperately to stop him.

Papyrus didn't sleep that night.From what…...is the real mystery.

 


End file.
